YOU CAN MEXICAN PIZZA

Sex you can, yes you can!

Buenas noches, senoritas! There is plenty of room at mi casa y mi cama for a little bit of this and a whole lot of that. Considering how simple, fast and cheap these pizzas are to create, we can make them all night long. So feel free to invite some of your sexy amigas along. I’m selfless enough to share myself with all of you. It’s what Jesus would have done. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Screaming “Oh God!” or “Dios mio!” into the night demonstrates family values. So let’s do our part. Together we can make this world a more pleasurable place.

Total time: approximately 15 minutes
Projected cost: $5
Drinking Buddy: Beer or tequila

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 2 medium-sized flour tortillas
2. ½ can of black beans
3. 1 jalapeño de-seeded chopped
4. 1 tomato chopped coarsely
5. 2 handfuls of shredded jack cheese
6. ½ an sliced thinly
7. 2 sprinkles of Menudo mix

Step 1
Preheat an oven or toaster oven to 375 degrees F. Use a fork to spread out a ¼ can of black beans on each tortilla, using as little of the bean liquid as possible. Scatter the jalapeño and tomato evenly over the beans. Place the cheese evenly above and crown it with a sprinkle of menudo mix.

Step 2
Throw the Mexican pizzas in the oven and bake until the cheese melts and the tortillas brown and harden (approx 12 minutes). Remove from the oven and artfully place the avocado slices over the pizzas and chop into quarters and serve. Ole!

STEAM ‘TIL YOU SCREAM YELLOW BEETS

So steamy, so screamy, and oh so dreamy!

Here at COOK TO BANG we are constantly one upping our latest and greatest recipe so we forget the simple, yet awesome things. Steaming the-powered beets is a healthy and damn tasty choice for a side dish. Beets have few calories to speak of, a megaton of fiber and enough boron to keep Erectile Dysfunction at bay. Once the kitchen gets steamy, you are sure to look more dreamy to your date. Choose the enter you will serve with the beets wisely because you don’t want it to be shown out by a tasty little root vegetable. Now get scheming and start steaming!

Total time: approximately 20 minutes
Projected cost: $2
Drinking Buddy: Depends on the entrée

Ingredients (serves 2):
1. 1 bunch of yellow beets

Step 1
Cut the stalks off the beets, wash them thoroughly, and then cut off both ends.

Step 2
Steam the beets covered until you can easily pierce them with a fork (approx 15 min). Cut them in half and serve as a charming side dish compliment to your favoriteentree Just remove the skin and eat. Add some balsamic vinegar or honey if you feel bold.